That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
