Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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