i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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