Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
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I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
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I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
How does one acquire holy water?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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