Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
