Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
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So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
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I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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