She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just pynch a tree in the face
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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