am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize