there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
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