Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
