What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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