in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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