Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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