No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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