he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
