She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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