the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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