Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
