So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
We smell like vodka and hangover
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
