I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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