it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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