And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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