at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
