winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
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