I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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