Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize