With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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