just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
