New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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