4 words: hood of his car
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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