At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
