No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
