Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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