Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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