im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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