What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
