I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
