This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
