Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
