Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
