Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
