Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
