is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
