the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
