I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
