THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
