margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
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There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
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