Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.