sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
