so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize