Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize