I puked a lego.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
