I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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