More tranny stories later!
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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