Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
