it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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