Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i came on her dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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