people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
