Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize