i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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