Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
